The Dreamer of a Thousand Names for Starlight (cloudtrader) wrote,
The Dreamer of a Thousand Names for Starlight
cloudtrader

completely random, but not so useless, almost spam update

Maturity in fanfic writers? I don't agree with everything the writer of this (waves to oshunanat) is saying here -- her interpretation of maturity is a bit to rigid for me -- but it is interesting and well thought out.

Someone finds a dead body in the streets? Creepy. Quick, take pictures! That's art, folks.

Free .mp3s, yay!


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day 180
8:00 am—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am—OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am—OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am—OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon—OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm—OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm—OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm—OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 181
8:00 am—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am—OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am—OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am—OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon—OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm—OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm—OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm—OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 182
8:00 am—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am—OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am—OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am—OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon—OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm—OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm—OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
4:00 pm—OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm—OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm—OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!



EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 184
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair… must try this on their bed.

DAY 185
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was… Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 186
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 187
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 188
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.



>These are entries to a competition asking for a
> rhyme with the most
> romantic first line but least romantic second line:
>
> Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
> but I only slept with you, because I was pissed
>
> I thought that I could love no other
> Until, that is, I met your brother
>
> Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,
> and so are you.
> But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
> the sugar bowl's empty and
> so is your head.
>
> Of loving beauty you float with grace
> If only you could hide your face
>
> Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
> This describes everything you are not
>
> I want to feel your sweet embrace
> But don't take that paper bag off of your face
>
> I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
> Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
>
> My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
> Marrying you screwed up my life
>
> I see your face when I am dreaming
> That's why I always wake up screaming
>
> My love, you take my breath away
> What have you stepped in to smell this way
>
> My feelings for you no words can tell
> Except for maybe "go to hell"
>
> What inspired this amorous rhyme?
> Two parts vodka, one part lime



A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a
large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed.
He asked his students again if the jar was full? They
agreed that yes, it was. The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up every-thing else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that
this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, house, or car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for
your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff,material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important. Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. "

" Play with your children.
Take time to get medical check-ups.
Take your partner out dancing.
There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.
Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter.
Set your priorities, the rest is just pebbles and sand. "



>You know you're living in the 02's when:
>
> 1. You have 5 passwords, but can only remember one.
>
> 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
>
> 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
> three.
>
> 4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
>
> 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that
>they do not have e-mail addresses.
>
> 6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer
>the phone in a business like manner.
>
> 7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert
>a "9" to get an outside line.
>
> 8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for
> threedifferent companies.
>
> 9. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
>
> 10. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
>
> 11. You can only write on 'sticky pads'.
>
> 12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all
>of your best jokes.
>
> 13. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
>
>14. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to
> get long-service awards.
>
> 15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World
> countries annual budgets combined.
>
> 16. Interviewees, despite not having relevant knowledge or
>experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
>
> 17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
>
> 18. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of- the-art laptop
>with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while
> yours boots up.
>
> 19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in
>hospital.
>
> 20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff
> yourdepartment desperately needs, but they can afford four
> full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
>
>21.Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
> computers".
>
>
>
>wonder about people who say they are giving more than 100%? We've all been in
>meetings where someone wants more than 100%. How do you give 103%? Here's a
>little math that might help. If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W
>X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
>21 22 23 24 25 26.
>
>Then, H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%
>
> K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%
>
>But, A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
>
>And, B U L L S H I T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
>
>So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
>attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.
>
>... And look how far A S S K I S S I N G 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%
>will take you.
>
>
>HAVE A NICE DAY!


Damn, I've got an earworm! Stupid hypnotic song, damn you Chumbawumba!

The Brand America Molecule. Scary, no?

Free porn! *giggle* Oh god... *shakes head*

And this is sweet. Now I want to go out and perform poetry for the masses! (Whoa, random Viggo moment there, sorry.)

And that damn annoying Atari duck flash game thingee is annoying me! I can't barely get the key before he kills me! Grrrr....

And I swear to you, bunnies are evil. Really!

Um, I'm going to stop there and go do something, you know, constructive.
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