Thus, I was inspired:
FIC: Brooding Vampire Detectives
AUTHOR: Me! All me! Yep, it's mine!
FANDOM: NightWalker/Forever Knight/Angel
PAIRINGS: Heh. Heheheheh. Bwahahahahahahahahah!
WARNINGS: Obsessive brooding. Really old pretty boys with dark pasts. Homoerotica. General silliness. Beware the caravat!
So this guy walks into a bar with a decapitated head under one arm. Yeah, I know it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but it's really not. Um, well, okay, it's *mostly* not.
Anyway, he plunks the head down on the bar and.... What kind of head was it? Hell, I don't know, honey! Maybe an Ognib demon, or some other similar nightbreed. What does it matter? So he puts it down and calls for a shot of my best O neg.
Of course I'm thinking "vampire" and I'm right. But that's not the half of it. He looks up at me and my Powers!, he is one gorgeous guy! Yes, hotter than Lindsey. He has this soft, long blue hair that just begs to be petted and the most amazing eyes.... Clothes are a little out of date, but it works on him.
He looks a smidge tired, though, so I ask him what the problem is.
"My Sire," he says. "He just won't leave me alone. Won't let me go my own way. He keeps insisting that I go back to hunting and fucking with him. I hate it!"
Before I can reply, one of my other customers -- also a newbie -- speaks up. I hadn't been paying him too much attention before, but I knew that he was also a vampire.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Mine is at me all the time, too. Says I have to kill, it's in my nature and all that shit."
"Exactly!" says my blue-haired beauty, and the two start to bitch about their Sires. I learn that the one with the severed head as an accessorie is named Shido and the other is Nick. Both are just passing through Los Angeles, Nick on a case and Shido tracking some nightbreed that pissed him off. I couldn't help but think how much they reminded me of Angel. Nick's a cop who has given up killing and Shido's a private detective that tries to help humans. Both have psychotic blond sire who used to also be their lovers, again also like Angel. It was actually pretty scary.
I couldn't help myself though. I just have to listen. I got my bartender to make me another seabreeze and sat back to enjoy the show, and not the one Lenny the Slimey was doing on my stage. Then Angel walked in and things got *really* interesting.
The two out-of-town vampires had switched to Bloody Marys awhile back and were getting drunker by the minute. When Angel walked in, Nick froze and gave a low whistle. He immediately abandoned Shido and went after the Broody One himself. In no time at all, the two were holding hands and gazing longingly at each other. They walked out together a bit later and I never did find out why Angel had come.
I turned back to Shido and found him staring after the couple drunkenly. I sighed and went over to see if he needed anything.
"Anything I can do for you, sweetie?" I asked.
"It's not fair," he mumbled. "Those two get to have sex, Riho and Yayoi get to have sex, why not me?" He looked at me with big, teary eyes and said, "Hey, I like your horns."
And, well, one thing led to another and that's why I had to call you. Now can you *please* do your favorite green demon a favor and help me untie this damn caravat...! Wesley, stop laughing!
...huh? You like me tied up!? Well, I guess Shido doesn't really need his caravat *that* much. He'll come back if he wants it. Oh, do that again! Oh, yeeeeeesssssss.......
aren't I a bitch!