April 14th, 2002

alone on a swing

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The pessimist says the cup is half empty. The optimist says it's half full. The pragmatist says its liquid contents are at 50% capacity. The ironist says it's half full of air. The plumber says the cup must be leaking. George Carlin says the cup is too big. The Starbucks employee says it's so you have room for cream. The conspiracy theorist says aliens took the other half. The baseball player says his cup is definitely full. MacGuyver says he can build a powerful explosive with it. The psychoanalyst says the cup is your mother. The punk sitting next to you also says the cup is your mother. The romance novelist says the cup is a willing receptacle to the wild gushing torrents of pure passion from the hard chiseled urn. The zen master says, "There is no cup." Pamela Anderson says her cups are definitely full. And me, I say, "Waitress! Refill!"
-T.

The above is taken from the January 20, 2002 entry for Mr. Tatsuya Ishida's blog. He writes the wonderful amazing really spiffy webcomic Sinfest. That's sinfest.net, not .com. Seriously, don't type in com. I did once and was scarred for life.
JWall

(no subject)

Chantal is having a relationship with a sentence. Just one of those things � a chance meeting that grew into something important for both of them. They like the same things. She took it to a party. They were a big hit. The perfect couple. Everybody knows about her and the sentence. The sentence spent most of last year in Czechoslovakian for political reasons. But it was recently translated back into English. In order to stop the sentence being deported, Chantal has arranged to have it read into the Library of Congress. However � when the time comes, she discovers that she can no longer read. She has no idea what her sentence is about.

The above is from Neil Gaiman's series, Sandman, specifically the trade paperback called "The Doll's House." Thanks to Alseides for putting it up on her website for me to steal.