The Dreamer of a Thousand Names for Starlight (cloudtrader) wrote,
The Dreamer of a Thousand Names for Starlight

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Cleaning my desk off.

So today and yesterday, because of my computer being in pieces, I decided to clean my desk off. People who have actually seen my desk will understand what a major undertaking this was. I excavated down through strata. The lower in the piles I got, the further back in time the papers and stuff I found. I found two expired checks I never cashed, my CSUN registration, receipts galore, many bookmarks, random clippings of interesting articles, starts of various stories, scraps of papers with names and numbers of people who I do not remember, a bank card I never activated, a mixtape that is at least 10 years old, two CDs I borrowed a long time ago, more bookmarks, notes and outlines of various story ideas, a book I forgot I owned, random comics, STUFF, Comic Con stuff from 2003, Comic Con stuff from 2002, my AA diploma, my Moorpark College registration, notes from classes I took years ago, about $10 worth of postage stamps, the scizors I thought I'd lost forever, several keychains, little toy things, lots of blank notebooks and pads of paper, a video tape I'd borrowed awhile back, random unlabeled CDs, STUFF, lots of Sci-Fi Book Club mailings, a bunch of See's hard candies, a wooden box, pens, paperclips, STUFF, and a whole colony of rabid dust bunnies.

So now I am in the process of redistributing all of this stuff into other places. Next up is organzing the shelves on top of my desk and the drawers under it. The drawers are going to have the oldest stuff in them, so I think I'll leave that for later. Much later...

This was written in red ink on a 3x5 piece of paper. No, I don't remember the rest of the story, if there was more.

For no reason that she could ever afterward discern, Katya awoke that night, the first of her marriage, with a sense that she must leave. Get out. Go away. Be gone when HE woke up. Now, Katya wasn't the stort of person to give into strange feelings and vague premonitions. She was an emmently practical woman. But that night, newly married to a man she barely knew, far away from home, and sleep-deprived to boot, Katya went with it.

She took nothing with her -- not even pausing to pull on shoes. She walked out into the cold night in nothing but her nightgown. And that is what saved her life.

Perhaps she somehow subconsciously sensed the malevolent forces gathering around her. Why else would a sensible woman abandon her bed in the darkest hour of the night and walk outside half naked? For the rest of her life, Katya would wonder just that. Neither before nor since has she had another falsh of what can only be called prescience. It's just one of those things that simply cannot be explained by science. This belonged to the realm of the immaterial. But it was the material world that attacked Katya's honeymoon site that night.


I think this is a quote from a Star Trek fanfic I read once upon a time.

Awe is the response of the rational mind to the fact that the universe exceeds its comprehension.


No clue.

Uheeyn siyum sel-kina atika meod
And something akin to the ending of a very ancient lamentation
Uheeyn tfila, bakasa vaharada keahat
And something akin to a prayer, a supplication-and-trembling
Sam'a ozni babihya haharisit hahi
My ear heard in that silent weeping
Uvadim'a hahi harotahat
And in that tear, boiling
-Chaim Nachman Bialik, "Alone" (Levadi)


This is only labeled as "Gaelic Blessing".

Athair ar Neamh, Dia linn; Athair ar Neamh, Dia liom;
m'anam, mo chroi, mo ghloir, mokdh duit, a Dhia.
Fada ar Ia, go samh; Fada ar oich; gan ghruaim;
aoibhneas athas gra; moladh duit, a Dhia
Moraim thu o la go Ia.
Moraim thu o oich' go horch'.
Athair ar Neamh, Dia linn, Athair ar Neamh, Dia liom,
a ghealach, an ghrian, an ghaoth,
moladh duit; a Dhia.


"We are the universe trying to understand itself."
-Delenn, Babylon 5


"I try never to get involved in my own life -- too much trouble."
-Garibaldi, Babylon 5


Oscar Wilde quotes:
"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it."
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
"I am in a duel to the death with this wallpaper. One of us has got to go."


"You can get more with a kind word and a 2x4 than with just a kind word."
-Marcus, Babylon 5


"You just can't trust a man with a stolen thumb."
-Miss Parker, The Pretender


This is a random syllable song I made up many many many years ago. I believe that its genesis was a sleepover or maybe just a visit by inkwraith to my old apartment in Winnetka.

Shim-ee shim-ee-da
Ho-orra con-ya
Met-ee Met-ee-ee-ta


"Less talkin', more stalkin'."
-Langley, The X-Files


This is from that thing that they have at Knott's Berry Farm, you know, the Native American thing? That, yeah.

Huxwhukw - Suck Brain Bird
Baxwbakwalanuxwsiwe - The Cannibal-of-the-North-End-of-the-World


May your sorrows be few and your wishes come true.


Story I vaguely recall something about... I think.

For an Earther, Dhacyne Raimo was remarkably sane. She followed all the aakai'la-e dietry strictures, if not with glee, then at least with pride. She did not violate her body with the many modifications that many Earthers sported. And while her mask of propriety sometimes slipped -- well, what can you really expect from a member of the race with the highest Aggression Quotient in the Commonweal? -- she was relatively contained and passive compared to her more expressive brethern. She didn't grate on the sensitivities of the other races as her fellows did. Which was why Dhacyne was one of the highest ranking Earthers in the Censurary Body. She was the most powerful Earther on the CB ship Dhol-set' Suntris. This -- and her preceived "suck up" attitude -- made Dhacyne a rather outcast person.

That was okay with her. What use was making friends when those friends were just likely to die in the next military sortee? She was the only human on the ship in a Support and Services role rather than a Combat role. She'd worked hard to carve out a secure nitche for herself in the Censurary Body. She underwent hours of painful treatments every month to change the chemical extrusions that were natural to all Earthers but which severly irritated any Crateblins in the prescence of an Earther. Her movements were carefully restricted -- even though it made her ache at the end of the day -- so as not to scare the An', whose natural predator on their home world Earthers resembled. Ocular implants allowed her to see the intricate webwork of the ships control panels which were indistinguishable to the naked Earther eye, and she had memorized over ten thousand of their meanings. She even faithfully the the pill everyday that allowed her to work in some of the differentiated atmosphere areas of the ship without harm, even though it still made her feel vaguely ill all the time.

Dhacyne lived behind an insulated wall, without contact or understanding with the aliens she tried to please or her own people. All that changed, however, when she overheard two seperate conversations. Shacyne changed -- and with her, the galaxy.

It all began harmlessly enough. As a general rule, Dhacyne didn't like eating with the other Earthers in their Mess Hall. She got tired of hearing them complain abou the aakai'la-e food, the ships gravity, their weird alien shipmates, their harsh training instructors, and the very alignment of the stars themselves. Although she wouldn't admit it, it was also kind of depressing. Most of the other Earthers ignored her, and those that didn't either glared or sneered at her. She usually just ate packaged rations in her quarters. She wouldn't even have gone to the Mess Hall that day except that Dietry Supplement 16 was being served. It was one of the few aakai'la-e foods that tasted good to the human palate.

Dhacyne got there early, before any of the other Earthers were dismissed from their regular maintenance of their fighting gear, so she could get her food and get out. She took a tray from the dispensery and hurried over to a single-seat table near the door. The table had an added bonus of being in an oddly constructed alcove along the wall, blocking her from view.

She was just about to leave when a loud group


You have to laugh so you won't cry,
Life sucks and then you die.


This is so very old. It used to hang on my bulletin board at my dad's house back in, like, middle school. Maybe even before.

Blood to my Blood
Mind to my Mind
Force of my Life
Let us be Whole


"A thought is an intellectual and vital energy of life, and it can be either a curse or a blessing, depending on its quality."
-Lucy Malory


Partial outline for a story I never wrote.

Jeonne is a street-thief who pays dues to the Alcaba City Street King, Slash. Her best friend and lover is Keeloa the Shifty, who is also a street-thief in Alcaba. Jeonne was put out on the street at the age of thirteen when her parents and brother all died of plague. They were bakers who lived on the outskirts of Alcaba. Jeonne didn't know they were her foster parents and she loved them very much. Keeloa's mother was a whore and she doesn't know who her father was.

After five years ont he streets of Alcaba City, and with the company of Keeloa who spent her whole life in the underworld, Jeonne has become an accomplished pickpocket and robber. One day, she and her lover stumble across a young visinting noblewoman who got seperated from her party and lost. They rob her, not knowing that she is the King's grandneice from the country, Lady Seidae. When they find out who she was, both are terrified.

A year before these events, the King appointed a Warrior of the Realm named Mithreal to be the 16th Seeker in the search for the missing Princess Jeolenia, the One True Heir to the Throne, so proclaimed by the Spirit of the Land. All 15 previous Seekers were executed by the King for failing to find the kidnapped Princess. They know that the Princess is still alive because the Spirit of the Land has not proclaimed a new Heir, but not even Lady Anikamea, the Chief Court Assassin and the King's mistress, and all her spies or the magics of the Dark Mage Gomlo can uncover her wehereabouts. Mithreal has one year to find the Princess before he, too, is executed.

Mithreal is suspicious of the Dark Mage Gomlo because the mage impedes his search, but it is Lady Anikamea who scares him. Most of the Seekers before him sought for the kidnapped Princess in foreign lands that had grudges against their King and Kingdom, especially their neighbor to the East, Loshara. Mithreal decided to search closer to home.

blah blah blah, there is more but I don't feel like typing it out


Next there is a fanfic I never typed in so it has never seen the light of the internet, but it was Buffy and titled "Perchance to Dream?" and featured Willow dreaming of a female Xander, Xander dreaming of a male Willow, Buffy dreaming of a demon Giles, and Giles dreaming of Ethan and Olivia, all erotic of course. Hmm, maybe I should actually type this up someday and put it up somewhere.


Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why)
by Nikki Giovanni

I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad

I sat on the throne
drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
the tears from my birth pains
created the nile
I am a beautiful woman

I gazed on the forest and burned
out the sahara desert
with a packet of goat's meat
and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
so swift you can't catch me

For a birthday present when he was three
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
He gave me rome for mother's day
My strength flows ever on

My son noah built new/ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
men intone my loving name
All praises All praises
I am the one who would save

I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels
On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission

I mean...I...can fly
like a bird in the sky...


I believe this is something, a fragment, from the my poetry phase.

Her name is a sweet feast of syllables
Rolling in a sigh off my lips


limp sunset
why won't you go away
give me darkness
sun, slide behind the hills
hide your face in shame


The End of the World
by Archibald MacLeish

And there, there overhead, there, there hung over
Those thousands of white faces, those dazed eyes,
There in the starless dark the poise, the hover,
There with vast wings across canceled skies
There in the sudden blackness the black pall
Of nothing, nothing, nothing -- nothing at all.


I wish I remembered more about this story. I think it was cool. I want to write it someday.

Kolaire: member - Queen's Rangers, rank - Captain, second-in-command, from the Drouviushka Hills, knighted by King Feodore, married to Lady Shasilea, Lord of Ishan


I think this is mine...

Like a delicate rose
Hiding thorns

As a calm, peaceful sea
Infested with sharks

Like a pleasant smile
Hiding death

Like polite chit-chat
At a corporate meeting

Like you.


"This is way beyond my ken -- and my Barbie and all my action figures."
-The Host, Angel


Satan is glad
when I am bad
And hopes that I
with him shall lie
In fire and chains
and dreadful pains


Ah! I found my encyclopedia of that world I was building that had alien invasions and superheroes and stuff. Coolness. There are entries for the following list of things.

cyber surfers
Rebels (aka - freedom fighters, Unity Resistance)


There is more. Much much more. But I am tired of typing now.

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