Secondly, I learned that the American hostage killed in Iraq two days ago is the husband of a lady who works for my company. I don't know her, obviously, but wow, scary! This is really the closest that events in the news have come to hitting me, personally.
Speaking of news, over the last few weeks I have been getting the syndicated BBC feed on my Friends list. Depressing stuff. I mean, whoa. I kinda wanna return to my pre-newsfeed ignorance-is-bliss state of being, but you know? Thats kinda cowardly. And this is MY world -- I should know what is going on in it. Even if it does make me cry sometimes.
I watched one of the post-9/11 episodes of Third Watch the other day and the pain of it all really hit me again. I cried. The last time I really cried about all of the hate and pain spawned by the events of that day was when I read the list of the dead in the obituaries section of the LA Times a few weeks after the tragedy. Man. *sighs*
I feel helpless, you know? Like, I know there must be some way for me to make the world better, but I just don't know what! And I don't even know if I'm willing to do what it would take to make the world a better place. I am very selfish and lazy and I don't know if I could make the sacrifices necessary. But I don't like feeling helpless and I WANT to help, really, so it just all kinda leaves me in turmoil and with roiling thoughts and a bad taste in my mouth and an intense feeling of self-loathing and depression.
I guess I don't really know how to deal fully with the reality of our world.
