When I was fourteen
I didn't know you
Know about you
Know you existed
Know I would know you
Know anyone who knew you
Know I would love you
When I was fourteen
You didn't exist in my heart
When I was nineteen
I knew of you
You were an old friend of a new friend
We passed at parties and I thought
"she seems nice."
At no time then
Did I think you'd fill my heart
When I was nineteen
I learned your name
When I was twenty-three
We went to Disneyland
And on a roadtrip to San Francisco
I knew you
At movies, in cars, through stories from friends,
At my house (never yours), on the phone...
I knew you
When I was twenty-three
We were friends
When I was twenty-five
I went far away
So far away
I lost touch with friends and family
There were emails (sometimes)
There were letters (rarely)
And on occasion stories from other friends
When I was twenty-five
You lost touch (I lost)
When I was twenty-six
You told us
We cried, but we were strong
All our friends were there for you
When your hair fell out
And the drugs made you ache
And the surgery took your confidence
When I was twenty-six
I knew you'd make it through
When I was twenty-seven
We talked about the future
We planned our trip to Europe
(when you got all better)
We went to Disneyland
We talked until late at night
on your driveway, in my car
When I was twenty-seven
You were my friend
When I was twenty-eight
You told us...
You told us it came back
We went to lunch and then walking
(that was the second to last time
that I saw you,
the last time
that I talked to you)
When I was twenty-eight
You died
Now I'm twenty-nine
I'm older
(you're not)
Fifteen years ago I didn't know you
Ten years ago I barely knew you
I didn't realize that in only ten years
Someone could fill my heart
With such joy and pain
Now I'm twenty-nine
And there is a hole in my life with you gone
To Victoria. Happy Birthday.
