Albania - Whut? Well, she gets points for singing in her own language! It's some sort of power ballad about -- judging from the video -- children? Being a statue in a museum? I dunno.
Austria - LOL, um, yeah. If I could understand the lyrics, I'd probably hate this song. As it is, it just makes me laugh. I swear the chorus is "get your fucking meat and poo poo" or something. Hah. Also, glow-in-the-dark butts. This is so ridiculous it aaaaaallllllmost counts as satire. NO WAY IN HELL this goes to the finals.
Azerbaijan - This country won last year's contest, thus forcing people all over Europe to run to a map to see just where the fuck Baku, Azerbaijan, actually IS. Anyway, the video for this year's entry from Azerbaijan is pretty. And the singer has a very nice voice. The lyrics are rather... um, uninspired. Like every love song ever. Her accent isn't all that pretty, either. Oh well. The singer herself is gorgeous. Meh, just not my type of music.
Belarus - If Belarus ever actually did win Eurovision, could they even host it? It costs a LOT of money... anyway. Yeah. Pretty young men singing in English "we are the heroes" over and over again. Also, I'm not sure that they're actually playing those instruments or if they're just props. Pretty generic.
Belgium - This chick's voice annoys the fuck out of me. She has no stage presence. And the lyrics are insipid. Knowing my luck, she'll win the whole thing.
Bosnia & Herzegovina - CUTE BABY DONKEY! Yeah, I don't care about the song, but you should watch it for the cute baby donkey! :D I actually like this video, it's just that this style of music isn't exactly to my taste (although the singer is really quite good) and since I don't understand a word of the lyrics I don't really know what is going on. (Also, BABY DONKEY!)
Bulgaria - Kinda techno/trance/dance... I like it! LOL at the dancers, though. Points for singing in her own language and having a really great vocal range. I really like her dress and carriage in the video. The random insert of a bit of English near the end of the song kinda threw me, though.
Croatia - The naked-except-for-loosely-wrapped-sheets falling guys are odd. My take away from the video (since I don't understand the lyrics) is that this woman has a harem of hot young men that like to play cellos with ropes. Yes.
Cyprus - FANTASTIC! Love the visuals of this video and the energy of this song. It tells a story and I can actually nod along to it. This is one of my top picks for Eurovision 2012. Which means that it probably won't win. But I really like this one a lot, especially the drum solo about half way through. (And the singer kinda looks like Liv Tyler, don't you think...?)
Denmark - I really like this one, too. She reminds me of a Disney pop idol, but not in a bad way. They're all so young and talented, though! I feel old. Anyway, beautiful voice/song. This is also tops on my list for this year.
Estonia - Not my type of music. Slow singing. He ain't bad, though.
F.Y.R. Macedonia - I like this video and this song, especially when it suddenly goes hard rock half way through. Love the melodic scream and the violin+electric guitar combo. Another one that tops my list.
Finland - Holy fuck, this singer is gorgeous. This song is slow, but beautiful. Her voice is perfect and the melody is lovely. I even like the kinda-random solo dancer (interpreting the song in dance form? dunno, it's in Finnish). Anyway, this song has a presence that just stays with you after it is over. Tops on my list of best Eurovision songs of 2012 (but STILL not as good as Finland in 2006).
France - Wold War I imagery? Check. Hot boys in only white briefs? Check. Smoking hot chick in a black corset? Check. Boys in gasmasks kissing? Check. IT'S LIKE THEY STOLE THIS FROM MY PSYCHE. Weird. LOVE this song. LOVE this video. Love the whistling, the blend of French and English (usually songs that blend languages do it poorly, but that's not the case here). I can't wait to see what they do with this one live on stage! I wonder if the singer can actually sing in that corset though. Hehehehe. Tops.
Georgia - Um. OK. I don't know how I feel about this song. It's like... a flashback to a weirdly macho disco queen version of the 80's. It is kinda catchy, I guess?
Germany - This dude has teen heartthrob written all over him. He has a very nice voice.
Greece - Standard pop song with a Greek overtone. Too back she chose to sing in English. I think I'd like this song better if I didn't understand the lyrics. As it is, I do like this song, even though it is trying sooooooo hard to be mainstream.
Hungary - Damn, this is good. One of the very few songs that actually has a message. Great video, great song, great singer. I really like him. Man, I like this one! Give it a go, it's definitely on my top 10 list for this year.
Iceland - This song is kinda epic. Features a male and a female vocalist telling a story with amazing cinematography and a violin. Really enjoyable song. Using the Northern Lights in your video is just cheating, though.
Ireland - THE RETURN OF JEDWARD!!!!! Or, as I like to call them, my alien robot princes from the future. Yes, Jedward is returning to represent Ireland again this year (they did do really well last year). They can sing better this year! But I don't like the song as much as last year's song. Oh well, it's Jedward. Do well, my princes! Break a sparkley robot leg out there!
Israel - Whut? Freaky circus themes to videos are sooooo over. On the other hand... I kinda like the whimsical nature of this song. Eh.
Italy - Love this song! After a long hiatus, last year Italy hit it out of the park with their return to Eurovision and this year they are doing it again. This singer is fantastic and and the song is fun and catchy. She has this great presence, too, and I hope she continues the theme of this video onto the stage in Baku with the dancers -- it's a great look. This is also another of those rare songs that blend languages well (the English isn't distracting from the Italian, but adds to it).
Latvia - This song is adorable. Anmary's smile is so bright and lovely. I really like the attitude behind this song and video. She's singing about her dream -- a beautiful song that she wants to sing and about her career, while the video follows her success. I just think it's cute. There is absolutely no chance that this will make it to the Eurovision final, but I love love love love it! :D
Lithuania - Donatas Montvydas! MY EYES ARE FILLED WITH SPARKLY HEARTS FOR YOU!!! But... your name is Donny Montell now? Hm, yes, well, ok. And the blindfold? Mistake. Your eyes are too beautiful to hide, Donny! This guy has the potential to be an international star. I hope that he gets the recognition he deserves outside of Lithuania with this entry into Eurovision. He has the best sheer energy and stage presence of any of the contestants. He auditioned for Eurovision last year and HE SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH THAT SONG. He would have won the whole thing! Silly Lithuania. (Here is a link to the song he tried to enter with last year, which I personally think is better than the song that won him a spot in Eurovision this year. I wish the actual performance of this song hadn't been deleted off of YouTube... his stage presence for this performance was electric.)
Malta - I make not bones about it -- I LOVE MALTA. Last year, their entry tied with Iceland for my favorite of 2011... and they didn't even make it to the final. Cute song, cute singer, I like the video, but there is little chance it will make it. Again. SIGH.
Moldova - The Moldava entry last year was quirky and awesome and this song continues that tradition. I like it. Miss the horn-playing, unicycle-riding fairy from last year, though!
Montenegro - They be trollin. Not as bad as Portugal did last year, but. Yeah. Yay for political statements? And again with the donkey! This video does continue the tradition of actually making a travel commercial to exhibit the natural wonders of Montenegro, though.
Norway - I like this. The lyrics are not offensive and it has a fun beat. Gotta love his hip-thrusting, too. Not as good as the French entry from 2010, but it's up there! I predict that this one will make it to the final and will score pretty high, but probably not win.
Portugal - Ugh. I really don't like her voice.
Romania - Any song that can incorporate accordian, bagpipes, brass, and Carribean-style drum rhythms is awesome in my book. This is a fun song, but it suffers from random English lyrics thrown in. Still cute, though.
Russia - I don't care if you think the out-of-sync tonedeaf grandmas are adorable, this is just Russia trolling. Seriously. No. Ugh. Why?!? If they win, I will cry.
San Marino - Also trolling. But with more autotune. Seriously, it's a song about social networking. And it's not good.
Serbia - I like the full orchestra and the lovely classical melody of this song, especially the piano... but. I can take or leave the singer. Actually, this performance would be better without him; he's distracting me from the orchestra.
Slovakia - Heavy metal entry! (Lordi did it better in 2006, but still.) I really like this song, but then I'm a metal fan. It's a bit rare to see heavy metal in Eurovision (I think the last was Turkey in 2010? Maybe?) so I hope that this makes it to the final. Won't win, but it's still fun (the ONLY metal band to win Eurovision, ever, was Lordi, and that was because they are simply awesome).
Slovenia - Still not a fan of power ballads. Also, what is up with the giant hair bows of doom?
Spain - Really not my cup of tea, but it'll probably win. I admit she has a nice voice... but again, not my style.
Sweden - Generic pop song. Singer has a 80's techno feel to her. Kinda don't like this one, but I kinda feel like I should, you know? I dunno. Meh.
Switzerland - More generic rock, but I do like this one. It's unfortunate that it is being sung in English, as the singer is obviously reaching for correct pronunciation and trying to hide his lack in the singing. I like the message of the song, but the video is particularly cheesy. Well, this is Eurovision, they're all cheesy, but yeah.
The Netherlands - Not bad. I like folk music, and she has an interesting (if rather derivative) voice. I like it! Except for the dead bird on her head. What the fuck is that?! Wait, looking at the costumes of the backup singers and the visuals playing behind her... this is supposed to have a Native American aesthetic? Whut? Why? Huuuuuuhhhhh? I don't get it. Maybe it's supposed to hearken back to the 60's or something and bring us that nostalgia factor? I dunno. Weird.
Turkey - LOL. OK, this one is silly. I THINK it is silly on purpose. I like it. Very fun video. This guy has a very fey look and a great, energetic presence. I like the tune, too. Can't see this winning, but it might make the final fun. I want to see this performed on stage! I'm looking forward to boys in sailor suits as backup dancers!
Ukraine - This singer has a sharp, fantastic voice and a look/vibe that reminds me of Beyonce with less slut factor. Fun, repetitive, pop song. This will likely make it to the final and get good votes, but probably won't win. Last year's entry from Ukraine was better, though, even without taking into account how they cheated on the stage with the epic sand-painting chick.
United Kingdom - Really? REALLY!? Engelbert Humperdinck? Although... admittedly, for a singer who is about 100 years old, he's actually pretty good. In a lounge-singer kinda way. Seeing as I'm from the United States, I kinda feel like my loyalty should be with the U.K. Just haven't been feeling it these last few years, though. He's better than some of the U.K. representatives from the last several years at least. We'll see, but I'm thinking this is not going to be a win.
Remember, mark your calendars for May 26th... EUROVISION 2012! :D